The Robot Cleaner

Kano and Sheeba were out together on market day. This was just a disaster waiting to happen. After being together for so long they could hardly speak to each other without raising voices, arguing and likely ending up in a fight. But at least at the massive market no one would hear their racket, probably no one would bother, no one would care. But a rare event such as this was never without a reason. Their maid had quit after the last time they ended up in a fight, which she got involved in. She of course had nothing to do with it, but that’s the way it goes with hysterical people around. So after the maid had thrown in the towel, they decided, after one more argument, to finally invest in a robot cleaner. Kano would hear none of it. For him this zapper was nothing more than trouble, which is going to be expensive and when ‘that thing’ wrecks the house it’s going to be even more money down the drain. Sheeba, staying firmly behind her statement, that everyone has got a robot in their household would just not let go the idea. And eventually she got the top hand.

The trip to the market itself was quite subtle, quiet even. Kano didn’t want anything to do with all this, so he kept silent and just grunted when Sheeba talked to him. Now that they have arrived at the marketplace, they had to find a second hand machine shop. But that was a difficult task when there are two of them and four directions. After squabbling for a few minutes the finally got somewhere, but after an entire morning they could not find a cleaner robot in all of the shops.

Overhearing them talking about robots, a shady merchant approached and immediately started to make offers and boasting his prices as lowest on market. Both of them were always sceptical, but after the time lost they had decided to go to the merchant’s caravan to take a look at the wares. And indeed, there were a lot of robots, but most of them even under their standards and requirements. Most of the robots seemed rusty and barely bolted together. But after seeing one which was very shiny and fresh they decided to bargain with the merchant for it. This one seemed very out of touch with the rest of the robots. They merchant didn’t even recognize it, but if Kano and Sheeba were willing to buy, he couldn’t even care less. They were always unanimous about one thing – price… as low as possible. And after twenty minutes of fierce bargain they finally settled for a reasonable price.

But being, who they are, Kano and Sheeba wanted to test the robot before buying, in order to make sure they’re not getting screwed. There were no switches or knobs on the robots, so the merchant didn’t know what to do. He just hit it over the head and suddenly the main HUD illuminated, saying ‘Cleaner model 1-8-7’. The robot turned to them and said out loud: EXTERMINATE!