Learning To Clean the Hard Way
I’ve always considered cleaning to be something irrelevant and pointless. Maybe that was due to the fact that I’ve always had a woman around to do that mindless task for me. But now after ‘the guys on top’ had issued their orders, I had to leave the country and start doing things on my own. I never really expected from them to do this to me. Why me? Aren’t they pleased with the work I had done for these long years. It’s just a business trip that will enrich you in plenty of ways, they said. Plus there’s a bonus at the end of it.
Anyways, I’ve never been really bother by any task regarding manual labor, or anything that had required me to waste my time, but cleaning was out of the question. My super-ego just forbids me to do this. It’s something on a sub-conscious level that’s beyond me. I’ve always thought about seeking help regarding this little problem, and my wife was very passionate about it. But I’ve always managed to find a useful excuse just to avoid this.
– Day one – So, here I am in no-man’s land. The flat they gave me is one step away from a Capital dump. Still, I’ve seen worse. There’s a solid wooden table and the tools I need are all there. I can do my job and nothing’s going to stand in my way. There’s problem with the ‘throne’ though. Every time I sit down to take a ‘number two’ it feels very moist and unpleasant. Still, I have to soldier on.
– Day 7 – Yesterday I saw a clean bench at a park. That’s just bizarre. Can you imagine this…? This whole town is like one flowing piece of rubbish in the ocean. The restaurants are badly sanitized, there’s not even a proper shower around here. I mean, who lives here?
– Day 12 – What the bloody hell is going on here? Everyone is fluent in English, still no one understands the meaning of the word ‘shampoo’. I can see that they’re not very enthusiastic about hygiene, but that’s just plain wrong.
– Day 15 – I’m struggling with the performance of my duties. The hygiene of my flat resembles the one during a civil war. I admit, I am finally ready to do some cleaning on my own, but there’s nothing to do that with.
– Day 22 – There’s still an entire week to the end of this accursed trip. I’m desperate. Last night I saw a nice spot under a bridge. I’m thinking of moving there. It’s a bit cooler during the night.
And just as I was finishing the last sentence in my log book, I grabbed my suitcase and really decided to abandon this. When I opened the door I saw my wife, holding a bucket full of various cleaners and tools. She just left them on the ground and said: see you in a week back home. In just a couple of hours I made the flat look like a government hospital. There will be a special place in my log book just for that.